Shyne's Week 14 NFL Picks

For those that watch WWE, back when John Cena was the champion, he would come out to the ring, salute the fans, grab a microphone and scream: “THE CHAMP IS HEEERE!” It would get the crowd pumped and he would then proceed to start his monolog. The Pittsburgh Steelers have only really had the chance to do that probably once this season. Back in Week 1, when they opened the season against the Titans, they had the swagger, the attitude and looked intimidating. Here we are about 13 weeks later, and the champs have not yet recovered that championship aura. To be honest, I don’t know if they will get it back this year; however, they can at least try to take a step towards that when they travel to Cleveland on Thursday night. At least for one night, I want to see them come out and let their physical play scream: “THE CHAMP IS HEEEERE”. Pick: Steelers win 23-13.

After the Saints defeated the Falcons at home in their first match up, I remember telling myself that the only game I can see New Orleans losing this year is the rematch in Atlanta. I would have stood by that prediction but Matt Ryan is injured. Even if he’s available to play against the Saints, I’m not sure of how effective he will be. Consequently, I have to go with the Saints in this match up. Pick: Saints win 34-30.

Sometimes, math comes easy to me. For instance, 1 pimp + many hoes= mo’ money. Easy right? Knowing that the Packers defense has a knack for picking off opposing quarterbacks and returning interceptions for touchdowns (eight pick 6’s since last season), here’s the math I came up with: Jay Cutler + Packers defense = Packers win. Once again, simple math. Pick: Packers win 24-20.

As we say in basketball vernacular, this game should be a lay up for Tennessee. Just give the ball to Chris Johnson and watch him pound away and try to get closer to 2,000 yards rushing. Pick: Chris Johnson goes for 150 yards in a 23-16 win.

The impression I get is that Broncos fans are ecstatic about having the opportunity to put an end to the Colts winning streak. Currently Indianapolis has tied the NFL record for most regular season games won in a row (21). Denver obviously is hoping to put an end to that streak and their fans have the belief in their team. But to be honest, I don’t see it happening. This reminds me of the Survivor Series in which Stone Cold Steve Austin desperately wanted a piece of Bret Hart. It seemed like the contrast in styles would make for a great wrestling match but in the end the Hitman was just too much for Stone Cold. Hart’s flawless wrestling style and technique left the Rattlesnake overmatched at times. I’m not saying that Indy will dominate Denver; far from it actually. The problem I sense that might arise is the lack of familiarity with Peyton Manning. He is always playing a game of cat and mouse with defensive coordinators and eventually ends up confusing the opposing defense. Are the Broncos ready for such a tall task? We’ll see come Sunday, but I doubt it (I’m biased, sue me). Pick: Colts win 20-17.

I had never heard this joke before but one of my coworkers dropped it on some unsuspecting Bills fan earlier this week: “What’s the area code of a Bills fan? Can you guess? It’s 044”. Get it? Pick: Chiefs win 19-14.

I can’t really put a finger on it, but I have a feeling that the Jets will cough up this game in Tampa Bay. The Jets should win this game, but I feel like the ghost of Warren Sapp, John Lynch and Dexter Jackson (all of which are still alive by the way) will come help out the Bucs at the Big Sombrero. Picking games is an inexact science, it doesn’t always need to make sense. Pick: Bucs win 20-17.

If the playoffs started today, the Jaguars would be in, while the Dolphins would be outside of the playoffs by half a game in the standings. A Jacksonville win would deal a serious blow to Miami’s playoff hopes; however a Miami win probably puts them inside the playoff picture and kicks Jacksonville out. Needless to say, it’s a huge game. The story of this game for both teams will be the ground game, special teams and turnovers. I am much more inclined to believe that the Dolphins will turn it over because Chad Henne has thrown more interceptions than David Garrard and yet he has played less games than the Jags quarterback. Take it to the bank, Jags win. Pick: Jaguars win 19-16.

I keep picking the Ravens to win but they keep disappointing me. I’ve had it with these guys. Each week, I enter the Picks Challenge (on my blog) and select Baltimore hoping that they end up helping me out in my overall record.  And yet, they fail to do anything for me besides add games to the losses column. So I am laying out a challenge to the Ravens team: win this week or else I’m picking you to lose the rest of the way. You don’t want that on your collective consciences guys, right? I might even be able to sway some of the Baltimore fans to stop cheering for you guys. So please help a brother out this Sunday…Pick: Ravens win 27-23.

Over a decade ago I remember Reggie Miller going to Madison Square Garden and lighting up the Knicks while New York could do no right. Reggie then turned to Spike Lee (a huge Knicks fan that makes it out to every home game) and put both his hands around his neck as if to signify that the Knicks were choking. You see, not everyone can play well under pressure. If your leader is able to thrive under pressure, the guys around him eventually find a way to keep their cool. So my question is, who is the Texans leader? I always get the impression that they are going to fold under pressure. That might be the problem with the team early on in the season. The expectations that are placed on them might be too much to bear, and once the team feels as though some of the pressure has been relieved, they begin to thrive. How else do you explain the fact that the Texans miraculously start winning games once all hope seems to be lost for a successful season? Right now, Houston seems to be out of the playoff fold; so expect them to win. Pick: Texans win 24-20.

Minnesota is the #1 sacking team in the NFL while Cincinnati is tied for #9 with 29 sacks. Needless to say, the further along we get into this game, the more it might resemble a prison shower. Big guys pilling on top of smaller guys. So which quarterback will be better equipped to deal with pass rushers in his face? I have to think that it will be Brett Favre. Keep in mind, he also happens to have arguably the best running back in the NFL playing with him. Random question: What will Ochocinco do if he gets in the end zone against Minnesota? I am almost willing to bet he would pull out a Vikings hat and drink beer from it. Pick: Vikings win 23-20.

You have to hand it to Tom Brady. Unlike most of America, I am not easily roped in by Tom Brady. And yet, after losing to the Dolphins, he stepped up to the podium and just let his charm take over. He smiled for the cameras, spoke about how his team didn’t deserve to win because of the mistakes they made and how they needed to get better. Brady did that in defeat and looked cool, suave and pimped out. I guarantee you that Tom Brady has a large bus filled with groupies (think the size of the Madden cruiser) that follows him everywhere he goes.  This vehicle is named the “Brady Bunch” and the license plate reads Br8D-Luv. Now tell me, would you pick Matt Moore, Jake Delhomme or the Brady guy? Pick: Patriots win 30-23.

I have a friend I call Michael Douglas (long story). A while back, he and I came up with the term Aladdin for women that would tease men. The logic behind the term was that the woman would rub the lamp, but never end up making her wish. The analogy is a little off, but I liked the idea nonetheless. Last Sunday, the Redskins pulled an Aladdin. They teased their fans into believing that they would give the New Orleans Saints their first loss of the season. But in the end, the fans were left unfulfilled; their joy stuck inside them and suddenly turned into sadness. What does this mean for this week? That they are going to take out their blue balls pain on the Raiders. But then again, you never know, Aladdin might appear in Oakland as well…Random note: I wrote this earlier this week, but some of you might have missed it, so I’m putting it up again. Who’s resume is this?

JaMarcus Russell

7000 Coliseum Way,

Oakland, California

94621

Email: Soon2B_Oak_Pimp@Gmail.com

Strengths:

-Former #1 pick

-Physically strong, hence will be able to lift boxes or intimidate potential customers if needed

-Still developing leadership skill and honestly I don’t listen well either

-Learning to take practice seriously but it’s really not my thing

-Canon arm, got me all the way through college and the pros

-Once got my boss fired, I’m influential like that

Weaknesses

-JaMarcus Russell ain’t got no weaknesses

-Only JaMarcus can stop JaMarcus

Work references

Was once upon a time the starting quarterback for the Oakland Raiders but then got a raw deal.

Some say Gradkowski played better than me, but don’t believe the hype. Once I got benched, the team wanted to stick it to management and the coaching staff and suddenly tried harder in games, just for me.

As you can see, Russell has prepared his resume because he will have to send it out to multiple businesses (not talking just NFL). Good luck J-Marc.

Pick: Redskins win 20-17.

“Hi my name’s Tony Romo. As the quarterback of America’s team, and the leader of Romomentum, it is my duty to play to the best of my capabilities and demand that my teammates do the same. It’s a tough task at times, but I figured out the perfect way to do it. Let’s be honest, besides Tom Brady, no quarterback in the NFL has as much sex appeal as I do. I find it tough to juggle that at times but I’m a cool dude and I manage. I mean seriously, would you let your wife near me? I didn’t think so. Maybe that’s my problem. Perhaps I need to drop the whole playboy persona and focus more on football. But who are we kidding, I’m Tony Romo. When we win, I have to smile for the cameras, make all the funny jokes and then get hit on by thousands of women. When we lose, I have a tough time with that, I tend to get emotional and feel down about my luck .But then again, I’m the team leader, so guys follow my lead and I lead them  to nice ladies....” Did that leave you confused? Imagine what the Cowboys locker room is probably like…Pick: Chargers win 30-27.

Giants fans seem to think that their team is back, but let’s not start counting the crack money before we sell it. New York’s defense showed up against the Cowboys and completely stifled their ground game. I want to see if the Giants can be effective against the Eagles passing game. Truth be told, I think the G-Men’s rushing attack combined with their ability to rush the quarterback will eventually wear down the Eagles. Let me know if you’ve heard this before; McNabb will have a few off target passes and will lead some of his receivers into trouble. In Tuesday’s recap, I mentioned that I was predicting the Giants to win the division. So this Sunday should be a step towards that. Pick: NY Giants win 20-17.

Earlier in the season, I started sipping on some Alize (the token alcoholic beverage for black people), some sizzurp, some Grand Marmier, some Malibu rhum and some of that 49ers Kool-Aid. Especially after San Francisco defeated Arizona early on in the season, I figured that they might challenge Arizona for the NFC West crown. What happened afterwards? San Francisco got drunk off the Kool-Aid and crashed their car (season). The Cardinals on the other hand are peaking. They have won four of their last five games (a lot of bad teams in beaten during that stretch) with the Vikings being their latest victim. They are currently peaking and their remaining schedule should allow them to roll into the playoffs with some confidence. Pick: Cardinals win 24-20.

Record last week: 10-5

Overall Record: 104-60

By the way, I hold a Picks Challenge on my blog every week. If you want to take part in it, just send me an email at Shyne@NFLShouts.com including your name and I'll have you participate. The website is Silverbackgorillas.blogspot.com