Shyne's NFL Week 2 Picks

Carolina (0-1) @ Atlanta (1-0)

Jake Delhomme already screwed his team over at home against the Eagles last week. So what does he have in store this week? John Abraham should coming off the edge on third and long to bother him. He won’t be as bad last week, but he won’t be good either.

Pick: Falcons win 24-20.

 

Minnesota (1-0) @ Detroit (0-1)

It would seem that Brad Childress fully comprehends the limitations of Cialis Man and is more then happy to give the ball to “Mr. # 1 Fantasy Pick”. If they keep that same game plan going, they should get a W in the motor city.

Pick: Vikings win 27-20.

 

Cincinnati (0-1) @ Green Bay (1-0)

The Packers’ defense looked real good against the Bears last week. The Bengals offense was disgusting against the Broncos (real defensive juggernaut there) defense last week. So what happens when the Bengals match up against the Packers? A couple of defensive touchdowns is my guess. The Packers defense is like that of the Bears from a few years back; when they get their hands on the ball, they take it to the house.

Pick: Packers win 20-13

 

Houston (0-1) @ Tennessee (0-1)

Both teams lost their games last week; and by the time this game is done, one team will have lost two games in a row. Everybody hopped up the Texans bandwagon and anointed them as the sleeper of the year. So what happens next? They lose to a team with a rookie quarterback that looks like the pool boy from Desperate Housewives (and they lost at home by the way). Now for week 2, Houston has to travel to Tennessee for a tough divisional match up against the Titans. Would you pick the Texans in this game? I wouldn’t.

Pick: Titans win 16-7

 

Oakland (0-1) @ Kansas City (0-1)

Although the Raiders lost to San Diego last week, I was impressed by their defense. Their defensive line did a great job (mind you against several back up offensive linemen) and their corners challenged the Chargers receivers. How will this translate against the Chiefs? It probably won’t. Kansas City put up 24 points on Ray Lewis and Ed Reed’s defense. Question is, will Cassel be able to step in and perform? He better be able to play and play well at that. I know he got paid in the off-season and all but he better not forget that he’s been a back up his whole life. If not for Brady getting hurt last year, he would still be a back up. So he better get on the field and play. I think he puts up 250 yards against Oakland.

Pick: Chiefs win 24-21.

 

New England (1-0) @ NY Jets (1-0)

This should be the start of a war: the war of the magazine cover pretty boys. Brady vs Sanchez. Brady did a cameo this summer on Entourage, and I am willing to bet that Mark Sanchez will have made a cameo on a TV show within the next year and a half. Brady already is an iconic figure in America; he has his own groupie movement (men and women adore him), he is married to a model and has rugged good looks. Sanchez on the other hand has the good looks and will probably soon have a huge conglomerate of groupies following him around. It’s only a matter of time before the kid becomes a media star. What does he need to do that? He needs to win and he needs to beat Brady. Maybe the Jets will win this year, but it won’t be against Tom Brady’s Patriots.

Pick: Patriots win 26-23.

 

New Orleans (1-0) @ Philadelphia (1-0)

There should be a lot of points in the game, but ultimately one of the Eagles defensive players will end up making a play that changes the game. By the way, how much pressure is McNabb feeling right to play on Sunday? Vick will become eligible to play by Week 3; and although Vick is probably rusty, there has to be a ton of things going through McNabb’s mind right now. For instance, he could choose to play on Sunday, but if his ribs limit him, he might get benched. If he does, his status would be unclear going into Week 3 whereas Vick would be able to play. The last thing McNabb wants is for Vick to step into his spot and play well considering that the Eagles defense might well be a championship caliber defense.

Pick: Eagles win 31-28.

 

St. Louis (0-1) @ Washington (1-0)

“Give me two pairs,

I need two pairs,

So the Redskins can stomp us

With their Air Force One’s”

In case you’re unaware, that’s my remake of the hit song Air Force One’s by Murphy Lee who happens to be from the Lou (that’s how they call St. Louis in the hood, can you tell how much street cred have?).

Pick: Redskins win 24-17

 

Arizona (0-1) @ Jacksonville (0-1)

Arizona played at home against a team that was physical and tough minded and finished that game with a loss. What happens when they go on the road against the same type of team? Warner is going to play the part of Rocky and Jacksonville is going to play the part of Clubber Lang in their first fight. If the Cardinals are lucky, Apollo Creed might come help them try to regain the eye of the tiger.

Pick: Jaguars win a tight one 27-24.

 

 

TampaBay (0-1) @ Buffalo (0-1)

The game that no one cares about this week, well except Bucs and Bills fans. But long story short, I will not be tuning in to watch it but I will remain professional enough to pick the game. If the Bills can’t muster up some fight this week after the debacle against the Patriots, the coach should be fired. Well, the coach should be fired regardless but that’s another story. So go Bills go!

Pick: Bills win 19-16.

 

Seattle (1-0) @ San Francisco (1-0)

The two teams with the best records in the NFC West get to square off on Sunday with a chance to take sole possession of the top spot in the division and lock up a playoff spot. What’s that you say? Oh it’s only Week 2? So? Oh I get it, this game is important but not that important considering it’s only the second week of the season. Good thing you were paying attention. I think you deserve a prize. Because I’m such a cool guy, I’ll actually give you a prize: I’ll let you know who wins the game. San Francisco should open up rather well at home against Seattle. In fact, the 49ers’defense will force at least one turnover and help lead the Niners to a win.

Pick: 49ers win 23-20.

 

Pittsburgh (1-0) @ Chicago (0-1)

I am expecting to see quarterback limbs from both teams on the field. The Steelers defense though is going to tear apart Jay Cutler. I’ve seen Big Ben take the nasty hits, but I have yet to see Cutler get beat up and have a good game. Until I see it, I’ll take the team opposing him.

Pick: Steelers win 17-13.

 

Baltimore (1-0) @ San Diego (1-0)

Something troubled me in the Monday Night game: it’s the first game of the season and you limit star running back LaDainian Tomlinson to 14 carries? The way I see it, because Darren Sproles got the big contract in the off-season, now they have to play him to justify the money he is making. Norv Turner had enough trouble making coaching decisions when he didn’t have to pick between two running backs, but now he actually has to; let’s see how this unfolds during the season. But in the meantime, I think Turner trips over his own feet and mistakenly coaches well against the Ravens and wins.

Pick: Chargers win 20-17.

 

Cleveland (0-1) @ Denver (1-0)

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Pick: Browns win 20-17.

 

NY Giants (1-0) @ Dallas (1-0)

“Do you have trouble getting out of bed because of all the hard hits your body takes on a weekly basis? Hi, I’m Tony Romo. When I’m not busy being the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys during the football season, I have trouble doing normal activities that everyday people do because I constantly get hit by defensive ends, blitzing corners and linebackers. If you’re like me, you need to be able to get some rest and avoid getting hit. Whenever I feel as though my body can no longer take the pain, I just look at the schedule and tell myself that I have it easy because I only play the NY Giants twice a year. Unfortunately, this Sunday is one of those instances.”

This message was brought to you by NoHomoTonyRomo.com.

Pick: NY Giants win 23-20.

 

Indianapolis (1-0) @ Miami (0-1)

Indy on the road in Miami; the spot where the Colts won their last Super Bowl. I’m expecting Chad Pennington to get slapped around like a Dragon Ball Z character.

Pick: Colts win 27-20.